“Good, better, best. Never let it rest. Until your good is better and your better best.”
“Good, better, best. Never let it rest. Until your good is better and your better best.” As a first grader in catholic school, this is what the nuns said, nay sang to us. Imagine hearing this message over and over as a small child. Would you raise your hand if you weren’t sure you had the answer? Would you volunteer to do the math problem on the chalk board if you knew how to begin but couldn’t see how the equation would unfold? I didn’t. Instead, I learned then that I had to be perfect. It has taken a lifetime to learn otherwise.
When I was trying to be perfect, I couldn’t take risks. I wouldn’t try a new skill lest I perform poorly (as is inevitable). Trying to be perfect kept me afraid. Most recently, I have been afraid of imperfectly supporting a friend who is dying. But I am showing up to spend time with her, I am bringing food (mostly beer and chocolate, her favorites), I am listening. And somehow it seems to hearten her.
Needless to say, I have never been perfect. I have been and am an imperfect mother, friend, sister, colleague, daughter. Yet, I am enough. And I am happier having let go of all the endless striving. This summer, I gave paddleboarding a try. I fell in the bay quite a few times. It was a beautiful day, the water was lovely, and I had a fabulous time.
Eileen Quinn
I am a lifelong Maine educator, co-founding The Community School in 1973 when I was 21, and then co-founding the Maine Academy of Natural Sciences in 2011. Helping students find self-respect and self-confidence in a society that often seems to be invested in taking those elements away from them – is my life’s work.
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Wander around and see which stories speak to you. Each story contributes to our collective experiences, creating a bridge of shared understanding.
Reflect on a meaningful poem, saying, quote, or song. It could be a loved or resented mother’s saying, or a quote that inspires you, or a heart-touching poem or song.
Many people are traveling home for Christmas or other family gatherings this weekend. For some this is an easy time, something they look forward to. For others it can be challenging, fraught with tension. For those, what can be safe to talk about?
“It’s a moment of undoing.” Hearing this short phrase, that so powerfully captures the pain and erasure inherent in stereotyping, took my breath away.
Hearing how it applied to autistic people – “If you’ve met one autistic person, you have met one autistic person.” – was a wake-up call for me. It expanded my sense of how easy it is to stereotype all sorts of people, and how quickly I may fall into this. An important reminder for me.
Bridges are not easy things to build. They are certainly not built overnight. And sometimes a bridge that we’ve taken for granted – a connection we always thought would be there – is washed away in a storm.
In 2010, recovering from a traumatic brain injury and traveling across the country with my wife, I was taken aback at seeing this handwritten sign on a telephone pole in New Orleans.
