Her sister was summoned back to the table to explain. The report she delivered to her mother was simple and spoken with great sincerity: “She hit me, so I hit her first.”

Those of us who were not responsible for adjudicating the situation couldn’t help but chuckle; kids say the darndest things. Yet the stunning honesty of that moment has stuck with me over the years. It comes to mind far too often, as feuding parties claim innocence and point fingers, each insisting they’d had no choice but to act as they did. Each adamant that whatever they may have done (and whatever they were about to do) was totally justified.

I’ve lost touch with that family, but I imagine those girls have grown up to be loving and supportive sisters who have no memory whatsoever of that Thanksgiving fracas. Perhaps they and their families will even be sharing a feast this November. 

Unfortunately, the larger human family seems much more inclined to cling to memories of past wrongs and imaginings of future insults. Sometimes holding grudges for centuries, with neither party willing to break the cycle of recrimination and retribution.

I suppose this is hardly surprising.  Can’t we all think of neighbors who haven’t spoken to each other for years?

And yet … Don’t we also know what happens when someone smiles and waves at us? Next thing we know, we’re smiling and waving first. You might even say, “They started a bridge, so we started a bridge first.”

Give it a try in these days around Thanksgiving. You might just find something else to be grateful for.

– Dennis Huffman, Advisor, Building Bridges Word by Word