Yesterday, I read Dan White’s essay, “My dying wife inspired hundreds of people. What a legacy.” in the Washington Post.

Amy Ettinger was a successful writer, an author of Sweet Spot: An Ice Cream Binge Through America, and a creative writing teacher. She was also a wife, a mother, and a good friend. Unlike many of us, she achieved all this by not hiding who she was but by seeking out those who “got” her. Through that, she found the ultimate reward: “Because I don’t have to spend any time covering up my real self, my friendships are genuine.”  

Amy’s belief in savoring each moment of life and saying “yes to the voice that tells me I should go out and do something now, even when that decision seems wildly impractical” guided her throughout her life. This approach to life became even more important after her cancer diagnosis.

The end of my life is coming much too soon, and my diagnosis can at times feel too difficult to bear. But I’ve learned that life is all about a series of moments, and I plan to spend as much remaining time as I can savoring each one, surrounded by the beauty of nature and my family and friends. Thankfully, this is the way I’ve always tried to live my life. (I am dying at age 49. Here’s why I have no regrets.)

By sharing her approach to life in her final months, Amy inspired people to consider, “What would your life look like if you cared much less about what other people think of you?” Much to Amy and Dan’s surprise, hundreds of people wrote thanking her for her essays and sharing how she had inspired them to make changes in their lives.  These letters gave her “a comfort she did not know she needed.” They also gave Dan a way to see her legacy and how all people can make a difference.

The many grateful responses prove that even now, in this era of online trolls and fake feedback generated by bots, engaged and thought people really can make a difference by reaching out, human to human.

In her last essay, I have little time left. I hope my goodbye inspires you” she wrote:

I am choosing to focus my limited time and energy on doing the things I love with the people I care most about. It’s a formula that works, I think, no matter where you are in your life.

To honor and extend Amy Ettinger’s legacy and savor the moments in your life, I encourage you to read her essays, write a short reflection on one of her lines below, and send it to Building Bridges Word by Word.  We will post your reflections on the Building Bridges Word by Word website and share them with Dan White and their daughter.

“I have never had a bucket list; instead I said ‘yes’ to life.”

“What would your life look like if you cared much less about what other people think of you?”

“I learned that lasting love is about finding someone who will show up for you.”

“Because I don’t have to spend any time covering up my real self, my friendships are genuine.”